5 Things I’ve Learned In My First Year of Marriage

In a little over a month my husband, Brandon, and I will have been married for one year. As someone who is still a newly wed I know I still have a lot of lessons left to learn, but I feel I have also learned so much in this first year.

1.) You can’t be embarrassed in marriage

You can’t hide your messes in marriage.Sure, you can avoid doing certain things in front of your spouse (burping, farting, having to go to the bathroom at weird times, etc) for awhile. Eventually, though, you will do something that you told yourself you would never do in front of your spouse. Remember, you live together all of the time. There is only so much you can hide until you can’t hide anymore. You can spend your life trying to avoid embarrassment, or you can accept the fact that you are a human, you make mistakes, and just laugh about it. If I gave myself a nickel every time I did something embarrassing, I would have an entire bag of nickels. Instead of crying in embarrassment, Brandon and I have instead laughed about them. Seriously, laughter is much more fun than hiding.

2.) Don’t compare your life to others

In all likelihood, suddenly everyone you know is either getting engaged, getting married, buying a house, or having a baby. With so many life changes, it can feel like the pressure is on to keep up. First comes love, then comes marriage… If you’re like me and every other newlywed I know, you will be asked The Baby Question almost from the moment you say “I do.” Once you’re married, your family and coworkers all want to know when you will be moving on to the next step. Every relationship and every circumstance is different. You can only do what’s right for you.

3.) The best things in life are free.

We are both college students, and like most college kids we are poor. Despite being poor we always have fun, and are able to show each other we love each other. One my favorite dates we have been on was where we went window shopping at the mall, went to Costco to eat free samples, and than went and used a coupon we had to split an ice cream with each other. On our six month anniversary we both knew we wouldn’t be able to afford any gifts but that didn’t stop my husband, and I came home from work to find a bouquet of flowers he had picked for me. It was the best gift he could have given me. I do love when we get to have a night out on the town or when he buys me a gift; however, my favorite memories usually involve us just snuggling up on the couch to watch a movie, or giving or receiving a thoughtful gift.

4.) Ditch your gadgets and the cyber world when spending time together.

For along time I started to get into the habit of being on the computer or Facebook when we would watch a movie together. Brandon would tell me to come over and snuggle with him and I would say to give me a minute. Well, a minute seemed to turn into an hour and by the time I was done we would start snuggling halfway through the movie. One time when I told Brandon to give me a minute, I could tell he was a little hurt. I realized that during our quality time, I was sometimes choosing Facebook over him, and I realized that was messed up. So now when we spend time together, we put the computers and our phones away and we just focus on enjoying the time we have together.

5.) Continue to fall in love with each other

Brad Paisley has a song out called “I Thought I Loved You Then” where he talks about the woman he loves. He goes through some of the important events in their life, and each time feels as if there is no way he could love her more and than the next event happens and he does. In marriage you have to continue choosing to fall in love and make time to do so. You should tell your spouse you love them often and mean it. As cliche as it sounds, continue dating each other and surprise one another occasionally. It doesn’t always take a grand gesture sometimes something as simple as vacuuming or making a treat shows can show him that I love him and appreciate him.

Our first year of marriage has been great so far. I love my husband, and I can’t wait to see what lessons I will learn in the future.

Advice on Waiting for a Missionary

Recently I read a blog post about waiting for missionary from another girl. I found her post a little to harsh and didn’t fully agree so I thought I would write my own post about my thoughts on waiting and advice I would give myself.

I waited for my husband Brandon while he served his two year mission. Brandon’s mission was great but there alot of things I wish I would have realized at the time. Before you read this just realize that all I am about to say is just my personal opinion, every girl receives her own personal revelation about what is right and it might be different from what was right for me. So here it goes if I could go back and give myself advise this would be it

Freshman stage(1-6 months) and Sophmore stage (6-12 months)
– start saving right now I know shopping is therapeutic and you are constantly buying Ben and Jerry’s  because they are the only other men in your life but you don’t need those and marriage and all the plans you have in the future are expensive and you can save so much if you just cut that in half. Also try to avoid debt because that effects more than you someday

-keep busy this could mean go work, be around friends, or learn new hobbies. I could been awesome at so many different thing if I used the time I spent crying to develop my talents. Also if you keep busy it helps the sadness

-it’s ok to be sad sometimes, but you have so many blessings that others don’t and you are loved so realize those things and don’t dwell on being sad all the time

-he still loves you, he can’t always send letters, but he loves you!!! Be glad he is focused

– don’t be too jealous. I know it’s hard but try

-realize other people are allowed to say they miss someone who isn’t on a mission

– keep fit and don’t eat too much Ben and Jerry’s

-keep a journal and write everything down

-keep your letters uplifting

Junior stage(12-18 months) and senior stage( 18-24 months)
– it’s ok he is not writing you as much, it means he is focused and being a good missionary

– remember its ok to date and have fun. It helps you grow and really realize your missionary is right. It’s even ok if you date someone for a bit. If you are supposed to be with your missionary you will even if you date while he is gone

-Put your life in Heavenly Fathers hands, your missionary is doing this and you should be too. He has a plan that will make you the happiest. Remember that even if it is different from yours.

– it’s ok that you are scared but you have made it this far so you will be good 🙂

-grow spiritually make sure you are going to church, reading scriptures, going to the temple, and that you have good friends who uplift you

-it’s ok if things don’t work out exactly how you planned

– keep  exercising and make sure you feel great about how you look and feel.

– remember how blessed you are and all the great experiences you’ve had for two years

– everything works out how it should

Graduated

The day he comes home get all dolled up, try to eat and relax. BREATHE!!!!! People will tell you he is going to be weird. He might be or he will be like mine and is so totally normal that it freaks you out and you are weird. Also it’s ok to like hold hands, you won’t break him I promise. Enjoy because this is a fun time and your future looks bright 🙂

Photography

Some of the pics I have taken this year.

 

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The Cable

The Cable

Jerry D. White

There is a pit, both deep and wide

With ledges carved along its sides.

And many ropes are thrown therein

And many souls there grope in sin

Because their sins they hide.

Deep I fell into the pit

Upon my ledge did many sit

And from above, a cable hung

Of rusty wire and barbs that stung

The hands and feet of those that climbed

With humble hearts and faith sublime

Toward the sky bright lit.

Not far above but out of reach

The rope was smooth and soft

By holding tightly the humble ones

Were carefully pulled aloft.

Then down again was thrown the rope

Each time I watched and prayed and hoped

Somehow it might be long enough

To grasp the smooth and skip the rough

Each time it stopped just as before

And there I sat upon the floor

Beside the ragged rope

Long I sat upon the shelf

And found no strength within myself

Yet by my side the jagged line

Whispered to my tortured mind

“Your problem is that you desire

the praise of men, and you’re a liar.

For by deceit has it been gained

And you are not the man you claim.”

I grew to hate the wire.

I tried to hide, but found no rest

“Confess, confess, confess, confess!”

The rope called loud and long and clear

The words fell hard upon my ear

For though it hurt my pride I knew

That all the words it spoke were true

And yet I did resist.

And then, when I could bear no more

On hands and knees across the floor.

To the line I crawled and knelt

And deep within my soul I felt

That I must now escape or die.

I could not bear to live the lie.

I grasped the cable sore.

From many cuts my blood did flow

And I was tempted to let go

But far above, a voice I heard-

A gentle sound a loving word

“Fear not, the cable’s strong enough

The smooth comes soon, but first the rough.

That you must bear, for long ago

A law decreed it must be so.”

With all my strength I held on tight

And pulled myself toward the light.

Soon the rope became quite smooth

My bleeding arms and hands it soothed

My pride was healed and better yet

A lesson I had learned

That self respect is sweeter far

Than praise of men not earned.

As I drew closer toward the light

Or it drew nigh to me.

A veil was taken from my eyes

And Ah! At last I see-

One lone man strong and true

Knelt upon the rim.

My pride was shattered through and through

My heart went out to Him

For from His hands His red blood flowed.

His arms were scratched and scored

Yet true to all those down below

He held the rope so sore.

For the ropes where by He held

Were strewn with rusty barbs

And looking closer I beheld

His pain was worse by far

Than any pain that I had felt

While hanging on the rope.

And looking downward I beheld

Those soul who’s only hope

Was this one Man, and yet they sat

Upon the cold, grey stone

Because of pride, they could not grasp

The rope that led to home.

And so I’ve come to love the line

It’s helped me understand

The pain and suffering that is borne

by that one faithful man.

Though you may doubt, yet it is true

That if you would be able

To know the man who holds the line

You must also love the cable.